Thursday, May 14, 2009

Obama Appoints Himself CEO of All Fortune 500 Companies

Sources at spinsterpov have revealed a plan for President Obama to appoint himself CEO of all Fortune 500 companies. "What I've seen at the banks and car companies," said Obama, "reveals that companies are not doing what I want them to." The only solution to this problem appears to be for Obama to run these companies himself.

Our sources inside the white house tell us that Obama believes too many corporations are delivering products the public wants instead of those products that He believes they need. In order to force citizens to comply with "what he thinks is best for them" he will be taking over these companies and eliminating all products he disagrees with and creating the products he wants. "The only way to get the public to do what they should", said Obama, "is to remove the other options from the market." The re-branding of American products will start with cars we don't want to drive, but will extend to food we don't want to eat, clothes we don't want to wear, electronics we don't want to use and other miscellaneous products we simply don't want.

When questioned on this intended removal of some of America's favorite products, President Obama stated that he knows what's best for the American people. Nuff said.

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