President Barack Obama petitioned Congress today for a Constitutional Amendment to change the presidency into a monarchy. Stating that he has been ordained by God and chosen by the people to institute a change in the way our government functions, he requested that, from now on, he be referred to as His Royal Highness.
King Barack as he will now be called, went on to say that the leadership of the nation is far too important to be trusted to a bunch of rednecks and hillbillies clinging to their God and their guns. A cheer went up from Congress with this pronouncement as he mirrored the thoughts of so many there. Immediately after the teleprompter quit scrolling, the draft of the new amendment was begun. There was, of course, some argument from the right side of the congressional aisle as the "party of no" objected to this latest advancement in our country's governmental policies. Luckily there are not enough of them to stop the amendment from passing.
The final bill is expected to be presented, voted on and passed on Tuesday. The King's new sceptre and crown have already been ordered and will be shipped from China as soon as they are completed.
Any attempt to stop this new amendment will be considered sedition at best and treason at worst. Having shown such an admiration for Britain's interrogation techniques in the past, King Barack is adopting the traditional British punishment for treason. This means that those convicted of treason will be dipped in hot oil, disemboweled and drawn and quartered. However, they will not be water boarded as that has been determined to be too extreme.
Long live the King.