Enough With The Freaking Green Jobs Already

I was working away today with the television playing as background noise when I heard Obama at his meeting in Allentown, PA.  After cleaning up the blood from banging my head against a brick wall in anger and frustration, I went back to work; all the time my mind churning over the ridiculous statements that were made before I muted the TV in order to save both my head and the brick wall it was banging against.

He of course took the opportunity to herald what a great job he's doing with the economy now since the unemployment rate is back down to only 10%.  Oh praise the Messiah for his great work.  Then he talked about his job summit and what they are doing to increase jobs. 

First we had our shovel ready project pork filled stimulus bill and endless chants of how it will create green jobs.  Then we had the crap and trade discussions and how they were going to create green jobs.  Then came the cash for clunkers fiasco so we could drive greener cars, and now the jobs bill is focused on what?  You guessed it, green jobs.

It is becoming increasingly evident to me that if you don't work in construction or an industry related to replacing bad energy hogging products with shiny new green ones, then the President doesn't give a rat's ass if you're out of work.  His answer has repeatedly been to give government money to certain industries in order to create jobs in that industry.  But what about the rest of us?  What about the millions that are out of work and aren't in his pet industries?  Well, we're pretty much screwed.

I work for a large company that already does it's best to be a "green" company.  We went paperless years ago, we limit travel and hold meetings over the phone.  Nearly half of the workforce uses a home office so we don't drive our gas guzzling, air polluting cars in to work every day.  But are we benefiting in any way from any of the job creating actions this administration has forsaken taken?  Nope, not a bit.

I'm in the insurance industry (oh the shame and horror) and we supply a service to other companies.  As those companies lay off their employees we have less work to do and so need fewer employees ourself.  In an effort to save jobs, the company this year elected to not give raises and keep the people in the hopes of riding this wave out safely.  Right now the best case scenario is that the same thing will happen in 2010.  The worst case is that layoffs will be made. 

What the President refuses to acknowledge is that all the businesses that offer services or products unrelated to his precious climate change agenda are scared to death of what is coming down the pike.  They're afraid of the immense taxes and fines that will slapped on them through healthcare legislation, cap and trade, card check and a myriad of other abominable policies that this leftist Congress will attempt to pass.  As a result, they aren't hiring until they know what the situation is going to be.

The only acknowledgement I heard of this was that "Employers don't like uncertainty so we need to get healthcare passed as soon as possible."  The sheer short sighted stupidity of this comment had me floored.  So we want to let our employers know that they're definitely going bankrupt instead of just facing the looming possibility.  I can see the jobs boom now.

Out of one side of his mouth Obama says that the government can't create jobs, and out of the other side of his mouth comes the statement that the government will give certain industries money to create jobs.  That aint how it works bucko.

Wouldn't it be nice if he stopped focusing on creating green jobs and started focusing on creating REAL jobs?  I know, there I go chasing windmills and building those sand castles in the sky again.

Why Jobs Summitt Will Fall Flat

As some of you know, for my day job I am a Six Sigma Black Belt, statistical process control analyst, process improvement specialist or whatever you want to call it. What it all boils down to is that I'm a problem solver. As somebody who solves problems for a living, I can pretty much guarantee that if this summit identifies anything that actually works, it will be something the rest of us knew months ago.

There are basic rules that need to be followed if you genuinely want to solve a problem and the summitt is following only one of the three.

1. Know the size and impact of your problem. If you don't know this then what's the point.  You may not even have a problem to solve. This is the only rule the summitt is following because we know the unemployment rate.

2. Determine the root cause of your problem. This is most effectively done by listening to the voice of the customer. In this case the customer would be employers. In order to really solve unemployment, analysis must be done which determines why the employers are laying off people or not hiring more people. This information can only be gathered from the employers themselves. Guess who isn't represented at the summitt.

3. Once the root cause of the problem is identified, brainstorm ideas that will fix the cause and not just treat the symptom. Perform a risk analysis to ensure that no unintended consequences of your actions will be felt. The summitt cannot possibly do step 3 because it isn't doing step 2.

That's it, that's the basic guide to problem solving. A very simple and time testing process that works if it's used.  The most critical piece of fixing any problem is to know what's causing it -- and who does the summit have to give them that information? Labor Unions, academics and campaign contributors.

I guess we should be grateful that he's at least finally getting around to looking like he's doing something about unemployment.

Michele Obama Says "Let Them Eat Cake"

While unemployment rises, companies and individuals both are struggling to keep their heads above water and steadily losing ground, the Obama's throw the most elaborate White House State Dinner in a decade.

Among the attendees were Steven Spielberg, Alfre Woodard and M Knight Shamalan. Among the uninvited, the Republican leadership, thereby fulfilling Obama's promise of bipartisanship. Uh huh.

This all becomes even more important because of the "crashers" at this big shindig. The usual person with a clipboard and guest list was not at the door by the secret service because of "cost savings" initiatives. They didn't believe this would be necessary. Guess they were wrong, but of course they have no culpability whatsoever with the gate crashing. Not that they'll ever admit.

With all of the talk about the gate crashers the actual size and scope of the dinner itself hasn't been talked about much. Was it really necessary, in a time when government spending is out of control and unemployment is rising, to give such a large and elaborate "dinner" event?

Now, a full year after his election, Obama is finally getting around to looking into the whole job issue. A lower priority than healthcare, climate change, date night and parties. The so called jobs summit, like the state dinner, excludes anybody with a dissenting opinion from his own and will be as ineffectual as his speech at West Point.

The Obama's appear to be living high while showing a disregard for those of us struggling in a troubled economy that he plans to cripple even further, and possibly permanently, with his pet projects. His dogged and unrelenting pursuit of these projects in the face rising voter disapproval and the negative impact to the economy shows a contempt for the average person. He and Michele might as well go on TV and say, "Let them eat cake."

Curious about how much the dinner alone, excluding the cost of the crasher fiasco, cost the taxpayers I was unable to find a hard number. Part of that transparency that we were promised. All I could find were comments that it cost over $1 million. I do not begrudge the cost of a state dinner. I understand they are necessary and we can't very well serve our visitors fried spam and mac & cheese, but this could definitely have been done on a smaller (and cheaper) scale.

I suddenly have an image of Obama, with his usual chin in the air - eyes down the nose look at America said with gravity, "I know you are struggling and we are working dilligently to solve the problems that the failed policies of the past created," then breaking into a grin, throwing up his arms and screaming, "But tonight Michele and I are going to PAR - TAY!"

Rumsfeld's Knickers Are In A Twist

During last night's speech, President Obama took the opportunity to blame Bush for everything while taking credit for the results of the Iraq surge which he voted against. All of this while following the same idea as the Iraq surge for the Afghanistan fight. The truth was not an issue in his rhetoric and I'm sure he's unhappy with us for actually checking his facts. Especially Donald Rumsfeld.

Former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld is understandably ticked off at the statement made by Obama that the generals in Afghanistan requested troops but they never came. Rumsfeld's boxers are in such a tight twist that he's doing the unthinkable, he's demanding proof! Oh the injustice!

Mr Rumsfeld has called on the President to supply the evidence of these requests, who made them, who they were made too, when they were denied and who they were denied by. Sadly, no real pressure will be put on Obama to supply this information or correct his statements about how Afghanistan was neglected and denied requested troops so that Bush could wage his illegal war in Iraq. Why will not pressure come? Because the press doesn't want the real answer. They like the lie way too much; it fits in with their own opinions and ideologies.

One can only hope that, on this occasion, Rumsfeld will shout as loudly and obnoxiously as the Code Pink "ladies" who protest him. Go Donny!

The Obama Implosion

With harsh criticism coming now from both the right and the left, I can't help but wonder how long it will be before Obama implodes. By this I don't mean the Obama administration, I mean the man himself.

Obama the man thrives on adoration and takes the worship of the unenlightened masses as his due. This is how it is supposed to be for him. This is evident in every gesture he makes, most especially the way he cocks up his chin to look down his nose at the people. I must admit that I've been known to cock up my chin when I talk to people, but I'm 5'2" so I do that in order to see the face of the person I'm speaking to, Obama is how tall exactly?

Anyway, moving along in my rambling thoughts, I think back to the first cracks we saw in the Obama veneer of calm as harsh criticism began as early as February. That was just the usual criticism of anybody in the highest office in the land but he had a problem masking his irritation that he would be so questioned by the plebeians that voted him in and yet which he despises.

How then, as criticisms escalate that he's moving too far to the left and also not far enough to the left, will he deal with this? His infomercials aren't working any more and serve more as an opportunity for additional criticism than a deterrent to it. This leads to wonder when the last straw will fall and the man will go totally ape shit on the air. I have a feeling he already goes ape shit in private on some occasions. We all do. My definition of an implosion though will be when he looses that cool and shows his derision for the American public in a way that not even an avid supporter could justify with a straight face.

I've thought about starting a pool on when that day will be. I'm reserving November 3, 2010 for myself as I believe the results of the mid-term elections will make the man apoplectic.

Reserve your date now and we can begin the Obama Implosion Watch. May it happen sooner than I predicted.

Obama Possessed by Soul of Jimmy Hoffa

Is Barack Obama the President of the United States, the president of the Unions, or both? There is currently an investigation under way to determine if Barack Obama has been possessed by Jimmy Hoffa. The previous president of the teamsters union mysteriously disappeared in the 1975 after making thwarted attempts to reclaim his position of power within the union. But was his disappearance, or even his death, enough to stop his quest for power.

Theories exist, based on the current President's behavior, which suggest that Jimmy Hoffa has possessed the President and is now seeking power over all unions and not just the teamsters. As evidence, the investigators site the "thuggish" tactics being used by Obama to strong arm, intimidate, and downright threaten any person or organization that threatens the good of the union or it's workers.

One of the most glaring similarities is a crime for which Hoffa was tried, but not convicted, which dealt with extortion of firms employing union workers. See the recent threat from Obama to the state of California to rescind the stimulus money if they're cost cutting initiatives regarding a union's pay were not reversed. Hmmmmm. Sounds Hoffa-esque to me. Hoffa was actually convicted for bribing a Jury and they got him for misappropriation of funds. Now he has even more funds to misappropriate. The blatant filtering of our tax dollars to his supporters is just further evidence that the current President should now be called Barack Hoffama.

Theorists fear which Hoffa traits will appear next. After giving control of private companies to the unions they employ, and threatening an entire state, this power hungry spirit may only get worse. On the other hand, if Obama is not possessed by Hoffa, but is just a recreation of Hoffa in a more pleasing package, that could be more frightening yet.

First Lady Breaks Fingernail - Bush Policies Blamed

First Lady Michele Obama broke a fingernail while zipping her dress yesterday. A dress she had, shockingly enough, previously worn. White House insiders revealed that both the President and the First Lady railed against the previous Bush policies that forced her to zip her own dress and, therefore, break her nail.

In an attempt to offset the image of America as an arrogant country, which the President has consistently apologized for, the First Lady is attempting to show herself as a regular woman and mother. She is taking this seriously and has begun doing things for herself that she has not done in years. Zipping her own dress was one of these things.

It is common knowledge in the white house, and in the press, that anything bad that happens is the result of former President George W Bush's policies. However, anything good that happens is the result of President Obama's actions. The broken nail was simply the latest in a long line of tragedies to befall the country as a result of Bush's irresponsibility. Sadly, due to the one broken nail, all of the other nails had to be trimmed to match. This resulted in an emergency visit to the White House's personal manicurist costing the taxpayers $426,000.

President Obama is expected to request funding for a program to supply all Americans with a manicurist stating that the ability of some to afford a manicure while others cannot is a perfect example of the inequality in our nation. The new bill is expected to create 60,000 new jobs in the manicurist industry.

Obama Proposes Constitutional Amendement to Make Himself King

President Barack Obama petitioned Congress today for a Constitutional Amendment to change the presidency into a monarchy. Stating that he has been ordained by God and chosen by the people to institute a change in the way our government functions, he requested that, from now on, he be referred to as His Royal Highness.

King Barack as he will now be called, went on to say that the leadership of the nation is far too important to be trusted to a bunch of rednecks and hillbillies clinging to their God and their guns. A cheer went up from Congress with this pronouncement as he mirrored the thoughts of so many there. Immediately after the teleprompter quit scrolling, the draft of the new amendment was begun. There was, of course, some argument from the right side of the congressional aisle as the "party of no" objected to this latest advancement in our country's governmental policies. Luckily there are not enough of them to stop the amendment from passing.

The final bill is expected to be presented, voted on and passed on Tuesday. The King's new sceptre and crown have already been ordered and will be shipped from China as soon as they are completed.

Any attempt to stop this new amendment will be considered sedition at best and treason at worst. Having shown such an admiration for Britain's interrogation techniques in the past, King Barack is adopting the traditional British punishment for treason. This means that those convicted of treason will be dipped in hot oil, disemboweled and drawn and quartered. However, they will not be water boarded as that has been determined to be too extreme.

Long live the King.