We all know (or at least the conservatives all know) that the Declaration of Independence states that we are endowed by our creator with certain unalienable rights. These being life, liberty and pursuit of happines. We also know that the progressive / liberal / socialist / marxist folks are attempting to endow us with more. So here is that portion of the Declaration of Independence as written by the progressives.
We hold these truths to be something we must teach you by any means possible, that most men are created equal but your governent leaders are the elite; that you are endowed by your government by certain rights which are subject to arbitrary change based on the whims of your leaders; that among these are life - unless you are viewed as inconvenient by the woman carrying you, liberty - unless we think you're doing the wrong thing with it, happiness through no effort of your own, purchasing a home whether you can afford it or not, healthcare, a job, food, higher education and the right to have somebody else pay your bills for you. That to secure these rights we will rule you with an iron fist and ignore what you have to say unless you agree with us.
Gee, what were our founding fathers thinking when they wrote THEIR version of this?